You MUST Know What I Think! Best of 2012

Well, it is that time of year again; The BEST of films from the year. 

Actually, it's about 2 days too late, but blame constantly exploding laptops. But for now, I am back on my trusty Dell, which never disappoints, unlike this previous year in horror (oh ye, nice segue). Last year, I promised this list would be more horror populated in 2012 since it seemed like such a promising year, and I even have a post of what was then on its way to the silver screen that was exciting me. Unfortunately, just like my promises of consistency, this list strays from the path of horror immensely. In fact, this year I will be following up with not only a WORST of 2012 post, but a SPACES IN BETWEEN, for those films that weren't bad, but overall disappointing. There are some glaring omissions here, since I haven't seen some films like The Hobbit or Paranormal Activity 4 yet, but hey, what good would I be if I was fully prepared for this post?

So, for the year the world kept turning, 2012, here is what I thought was the best on offer.

10. The Woman In Black

I wasn't a massive fan of the film, finding some inconsistencies, but I think the majority of those problems can be put down to the fact Daniel Radcliffe is a terrible, awful, wooden actor who was the worst case of stunt casting I have ever seen. I initially found the film itself middle of the road, but am in hindsight thinking it is quite fun, but the more and more I look at it, it seems that Potter drags down some immensely powerful talent around him to be a horrible putrid zit on an otherwise not too bad looking face.

9. Cosmopolis
I'm a massive fan of David Cronenberg, and hope he will return to his genre roots eventually, but until then, he seems to be pumping out films for critics to call 'high-brow' or 'unique'. Cosmopolis is definitely these things, but probably not in a good way. The trailer plays up the sex, drugs and violence of the film, which are certainly elements for Robert Patterson's despondent business tycoon in the back of a limo, but the film is all a monologue of a detached millionaire. Feeling very staged with long periods of inactivity, the film is actually pretty interesting, up until it reaches its climax, where it almost edges in to typical Hollywood, but then plays out almost 10 minutes too long. The film isn't a standout in Cronenberg's oeuvre, but is certainly an interesting piece for those looking for an inner struggle in a decaying world.

8. The Hunger Games
Battle Royale is one of my favourite films, so Hunger Games automatically loses points for basically being a candy-coated version of the Japanese classic, but the film on its own merit is enjoyable, engaging and biting from a satirical point of view. I'm not going to stand here and say it is high art or anything, but the film has a universal message of the wealth divide that it sends to the PG-13 crowd effectively (and heavy-handed). Though somewhat predictable or cliché in places, this actually benefits the film and its ability to appeal to all. THIS is a much more appropriate replacement for Harry Potter than the Twilight series.

7. Absentia

Technically a 2011 film, but only released on DVD in the UK in 2012, this is a micro-budget flick about a woman whose husband shows up years after inexplicably disappearing and being presumed dead. He appears disheveled and paranoid of a tunnel near the house, which we find is home to some otherworldly portal where demons can kidnap the living. Though it shows its low budget pedigree in many places, it is a very strong film with a consistent heavy tone. The former drug addict sister of our main character is fantastic, as is most of the cast. An idea that could have been hashed out and replicated in dozens of bargain bin flicks, this one stands out as something that has more of a heart than any of its low budget peers.

6. Dredd

I loved this film. It is simple. It is a shoot em up. It is a popcorn movie. There is nothing complex about the famous Chaos AD character, Judge Dredd, getting trapped in an apartment complex and hunted by a drug dealer's gangs, but this is the biggest plus of the film. I know some people are annoyed that none of Judge Dredd's 20+ year history is brought up in the film, but that is why this film is so good. It isn't trying to inject plot, or shoehorn a message in. Dredd is an officer who upholds the law, and executes those who break it. Plain and simple. You want deeper plot? Go watch the Sylvester Stallone version. What I was hoping for was this film to be a hit, and there to be a massive series (like 12 films) so we could go deeper into this character slowly but surely, but I guess that is never going to happen since the film didn't do impressive numbers. Stylistically, the film is probably up there with the next entry as most beautiful film of the year, and number 1 for best 3D. 

5. Moonrise Kingdom

Wes 'I can't help but make incredible films' Anderson returns with the story of a scout and a young girl who run off together on a small American island as the worst storm of years is about to hit. If you haven't seen this film, it is the one you HAVE TO see. Anderson's films always are unique, but this one feels like it was made from your grandfather's shag rug while reminiscing as Bill Murray walks in every now and again. Bruce Willis and Edward Norton will blow you away with roles that are fantastically awkward and hilarious.

4. The Cabin in the Woods

Many people have gone to town about this one and how good it is, and I agree. It is the best 'horror' I have seen this year, though I use the term horror loosely. In it, we see the stereotypical college kids go to the titular Cabin, where they are attacked by supernatural beings, but the twist being there are being watched and manipulated by a government-like organisation. I hated the trailer for this one, but was so pleasantly surprised when I saw it. The film is witty and amusing, and is a loving elbow to the ribs for horror fans (incidentally, if you liked this, check out Tucker and Dale VS Evil. A lot more silly, but brilliant). It is self-referential, as the Scream series was, but in a totally different way. Whereas those films were played straight with realistic characters who knew the horror rules, Cabin in the Woods are more the movie horror characters who find out why they do stupid things like run upstairs when chased, or call out 'who's there?'. I bring this up because there are 2 definite camps with this film; those who love it as a tongue-in-cheek nod to typical and worn horror troupes; and those who think it is a failure as a horror film and full of itself. I agree it isn't a good horror film (I would almost prefer to stay with the mundane organisation behind the whole operation than the action with the kids), but for me, it is a ridiculously fun film, keeping in line with Joss Whedon's sardonic humour of Buffy, Firefly or even The Avengers.

3. The Avengers

Speaking of Joss Whedon. You all know what The Avengers is about; some of Marvel comics most well know characters (well, if you exclude Spidey or the X-Men), plus some ones you mightened know, trying to save the world from a Demigod who is hell bent on ruling the earth. The film is big budget and explosive, and the wet dream of comic fans everywhere. This isn't a heavy experience, it's about sitting in your seat and letting the action hit, with it being punctuated by fantastic wit and gags. The first act of the film is poor, and every now and again, I did find myself going 'these people are in stupid costumes', but once Robert Downey Jr shows up on his mission to steal every scene, the film never lets up. Steve Rogers, one of the weakest of the 'pre' Avengers films, Captain America, shines bright in the ensemble, playing well as the clean cut, modest patriot to RDJ's cocky and egomaniacal Iron Man. This is a highlight in a genre of comic book films hit by diminishing returns, and a sign that the golden age of the comic book movie may have life in it yet.

2. Prometheus

Here's one a lot of people hate. Not me. There's a lot of points people make of the film that are easy to argue (certain things people think are plot holes which aren't, thinking of it as a horror when it clearly isn't nor ever was supposed to be), and some that are not so easy to. Most people were let down, since they were expecting a great prequel to Alien. Even though director Ridley Scott had always said it had started as a prequel but no longer was, everyone knew he was just trying to give us a show. But it is a very different kettle of fish than his face-hugging original. This film obviously happens in the same universe, but has little to do with the rest of the series. In fact, it has far more to do with Blade Runner. The film's faults are some of the clichés that come through in the characters and plot, though some of these feel more like they were there but truncated in the edit. As far as action films go, it lets the side down, but this is the thing, Prometheus isn't a typical action film. In fact, the film is all very symbolical, hidden underneath the veneer of a typical multiplex mainstay, and annoyingly, too well hidden for a lot of people. It is a pondering on what it means to be human, and what if it actually means nothing. I can see why people don't like it, but for my money, this is a film that gets better and better every watch, and one that will be essay worthy for many academics, you just wait and see. 

Scott has stated there is also going to be a sequel to Blade Runner 2, and there will be a sequel to Prometheus. Through some small lines in the BluRay extras, it has been established that Blade Runner and Prometheus actually exist in the same universe, and I am theorising that these 2 upcoming sequels may in fact be one and the same. Now THERE would be a twist.

1. The Dark Knight Rises

A lot of hate for this one from a lot of people, but I'm sorry, it is enjoyable and the best film of the year for me. People were let down because, really, it isn't as good a film as The Dark Knight, but whereas The Dark Knight is an amazing crime thriller about a criminal mastermind and the balance between good and evil, The Dark Knight Rises is what happens when that balance fails and order is thrown into chaos. Like Prometheus, TDKR suffers from a lot of information passing too briefly, making it seem a bit poorly thought out, and I imagine there exists a cut that adds in half an hour of footage to the first hour of the film. So much happens in this film, it could only benefit by a Lord of the Rings-style extended edition. Not to add in scenes, but to play what is there out slower. Beyond that, it is brilliant. There are some moments here and there that are questionable, but people have been making a bigger deal out of them because they were expecting so much from this film. As a whole, Batman's villain, Bane, is as identifiable as The Joker (ok, the voice is a bit funny, but in a perfectly recognisable way), and puts the caped crusader through both personal and public trials. The Dark Knight stripped away Batman's loved ones, The Dark Knight Rises is about breaking the Bat himself. 

Great film. Number one.

The FULL rundown of the 30 Day Horror Challenge

December 19th, 2012 shall officially be remembered as the day that I, Richard, completed the 30 Day Horror Challenge! Ok, it did take me 58 days (October 23rd to now) to complete it, but hey, still. 

What have we learned from this? Well, obviously, I sucked at the challenge, but also, I am awful forgetful and repeated certain films several times (I can't help it if the US remake of The Grudge had such a big impact on my horror life!). There seems to be a nice appreciation for films both new and old, which is nice to see. I will stand by all my choices (including Species, which is a film that would have been good if it had been cast better!), even if HellraIser counts for a fair whack of em. Did you learn anything new about me and my horror ways?

For those who are too lazy to have checked each individual post, here's the rundown of all my answers to the 30 Day Horror Challenge (if you want to check out the individual posts, you will find them all to the side of the page under the Oct 2012 to Dec 2012 headers).

Day 01: A horror movie that delivered a scary theatrical experience.
The Grudge (US remake)

Day 02: A disappointing or unnecessary remake. 
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

Day 03: A scene or image burned into your mind.

Head dismemberment from George A. Romero's Day of the Dead

Day 04: A movie that kills off countless main characters.
Saw 3D

Day 05: Excellent use of sound effects.
Evil Dead 2

Day 06: Doesn't seem to scare other people as much as it scares you.
Silent Hill

Day 07: An incredibly twisted movie. 
Mermaid in a Manhole

Day 08: A terrifying inanimate object.  
The Lament Configuration from the Hellraiser series

Day 09: A movie that you like to show people. 
The Ruins

Day 10: A great sequel. 
Alien 3

Day 11: Wonderful use of lighting. 
Suspiria

Day 12: Plot you would least like to end up in. 
The Happening

Day 13: A formidable antagonist. 
Jigsaw from Saw

Day 14: An egregious misuse of the 'based on true events' claim. 
The Amityville Horror (1979)

Day 15: A painfully suspenseful movie. 
Drag Me To Hell

Day 16: A frightening dream sequence/hallucination. 
The Serpent and the Rainbow

Day 17: A bad ass post/pre-kill one-liner. 
'Jesus wept' from Hellraiser

Day 18: A movie with unsettling scenery. 
The Haunting (1963)

Day 19: A horror movie that gives you nightmares. 
The Grudge (US remake)

Day 20: A great remake. 
The Amityville Horror (2005)

Day 21: A horror movie that only makes you laugh. 
Zombie Flesh Eaters 2/Zombi 3

Day 22: A frightening child actor.  
Daeg Faerch from Rob Zombie's Halloween

Day 23: Graphics that pull you out of the movie. 
Cube

Day 24: An effective jump scare. 
Blood test scene from John Carpenter's The Thing

Day 25: Excellent use of soundtrack. 
Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd in The Devil's Rejects

Day 26: An aggravatingly incompetent protagonist. 
Bobby from The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

Day 27: A terrifying creature. 
The Tarman from The Return of the Living Dead

Day 28: A horror movie that is hard to watch. 
Martyrs

Day 29: A great horror movie with a terrible cast. 
Species

Day 30: Your favourite final scene, scare, or image. 
The chainsaw dance from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

Martyrs: The Most Important Torture Porn?

The hope would be that by now, you would know of the 2008 French horror film Martyrs. Directed by Pascal Laugier (whose The Tall Man has just been released), the film is notorious for being an intense and violent piece. I have yet to meet someone who has not said it was a harrowing experience but, most importantly, ends in a way that makes it completely worthwhile.

Contrary to popular opinion, I am not a massive torture porn fan. First off, I think it is a label that was used to generalise and degrade a lot of horror, but secondly, I don't find enjoyment in watching films that are violent just for the sake of being violent. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy a good violent film, but only with context. I will happily enjoy vocal chords tearing in the military/science bashing Day of the Dead, or the unbridled slaughtering in the 1984-with-a-twist Dredd, but I cannot enjoy films like The Tortured, where plot is eschewed in favour of impressive special effects. I'm sure a lot of people would argue some films I enjoy border in to this territory, but I will stand by most of my choices. What I am saying is that I have not liked a film simply because it is violent.

A lot of torture porn films tend to go on the 'hey, dude, look how sick this is!' side of the tracks, but Martyrs has absolutely none of this. It is a tough film to watch, and does not let you enjoy the violence on screen (and it is ALL on screen). Instead, it forces you to sit and wait, uncomfortably, feeling dirty for watching to see where it goes. And this is the challenge it sets for you. About an hour in to the film, I was very tempted to just turn it off, a cardinal sin, and something I have never done owing to intensity before. Thankfully, I stomached it up and continued on, and, I'm not giving it away here, it is worth watching to the end.

Countless critics have made this observation, that the film is a tough watch, but ultimately rewarding, and I must agree. Like I say, I wouldn't be a massive torture porn fan, and the New French Extremity movement of films (including films like Haute Tension) have never sat overly well with me. I am fine with violence used to further or enhance plot, but not in place of it. Martyrs very clearly walks a fine line where it could just be violence for the sake of shock value, and it definitely fits in the torture porn classifications, but it directly challenges them, and the viewer. You do not walk out of Martyrs looking for your next gore hit, but with reflection on what you have just seen, and how it relates to you and your place in the world.

Martyrs is an incredible watch, and one you should put yourself through, but be warned, you do have to watch the whole thing. It is a fine piece of art, whole and complex. If you leave when it starts to raise the intensity levels, you will end up with only half the story you need to savour the experience. And you should go in knowing as little as possible. All I knew going to see it was that it was an intense and violent film, and I am glad that's all I knew. I know people who haven't seen the film who have read spoilers about the ending so they could judge if they should watch the film. This is a BAD IDEA, because the power is in the journey and the conclusion, not one or the other.

So, in what seems to happen with every film trend, Martyrs has become a benchmark in torture porn, and has probably closed the door on what can be done with the genre. There will be plenty more films. There will be exploitation. There will be intensity. There will be blood. But there will never be another Martyrs*.


*Except for the alleged US remake, which can automatically be filed under 'bad ideas'.

The Death of the DVD Film School

This is an issue that had been eating at me for a long time now (not literally. I'm just trying to be metaphorical. Why won't you let me be smart!?); It is inevitable, physical media is going bye-bye and everything will essentially be cloud or computer space, and this isn't a bad thing in itself, but I am a big movie lover, and an even bigger DVD/Blu-Ray special features lover, and I am worried that we may be witnessing the death of the special feature.


I am a bit of a collector (read: hoarder) when it comes to DVDs. I have to have em, and I have to have the most special-est fanciest edition going. Annoyingly, studios double dip, or release better versions of films all the time. I have bought at least 2 different copies of each of George Romero's original zombie flicks, and I am still a long way off having all the bases covered. This is a nuisance, sure, but not my concern. My concern is the complete disappearance of the reasons I buy these discs; the special features.

What the fuck is this 'overkill' you speak of?

My entire life, I have been a horror fan, and film fan in general, and I will always remember that moment I discovered the audio commentary on the first Nightmare on Elm Street film I had recently got for my 14th birthday. Up until then, all I thought of DVDs was an expensive but fancy way of having better picture quality, and maybe a trailer. But this commentary (plus the ridiculously lush release of Hannibal I also acquired) took me to a new level. Suddenly, I was being shown behind the scenes, and not in that annoying E Close-up kind of way, but in a frank and casual way. Though not always the case, you could very often find out what went wrong, or massive problems that were overcome, or the general nitty gritty you might not know otherwise. It was an education. A film school put on to reflective plastic. And I loved it. 

This was some of the best 4 hours 

of my life. No, seriously.

DVDs boomed and everything was the best special edition that could be made (for a high price, of course, but hey, you are no longer watching a film, but experiencing it really). Some releases were brilliant and insightful, like the first two Terminator films or the Alien quadrilogy, and some lacked a depth, typically owing to being recent and people not wanting to burn bridges or just generally wanting it to seem like a classic (see: Alien Vs Predator's horrendously ego-tripping features). But we were given banks of information. And then it started to disappear...

Do yourself a favour and read this article here, about the disappearance of special features (and this response to it, which also gives some nice extra insight). The basic point is that people are watching films on services like Netflix or iTunes, and no longer buy DVDs or Blu Rays, meaning there is no point in companies shilling out for features for these formats, as not nearly enough people are buying anymore. And it is very true. There are some definite exceptions to this rule (like Arrow, who have been releasing amazing special editions of cult classics), but it is becoming more and more rare that you will find a double disc special edition. Sure, you might find an extended cut or whatever, but that's not the same. 


My shelves are literally full of DVDs (with some Blu Rays starting to sneak in), but I know they are quickly becoming obsolete, and really, even though I do love to have and to hold them, I am ready to embrace the change. If you were to tell me I could have all of my collection located in a digital space that is no bigger than a hard drive in the real world, I would go for it. I have run out of room for my habit, and see that the convenience of it all being stored digitally is massive. You may also say 'Hey, Richard, this is no dream. You can do this RIGHT NOW!', and you would be right. But it comes with a heck of a caveat. Whatever I buy will be limited to the film itself. Just the film. No extras. No making of. No commentary. And this is where I call bullshit.

Thanks, Google.

I love the idea of buying a film from iTunes and downloading it right away, but I don't. Special features are a must. As a filmmaker, as a fan, we have had it, and we can not go back. Oddly, The Human Centipede 2 has extra features for download, but aside from that, if you want the features, you get the physical format, which is having less and less features, because of your digital downloading, because of the convenience and lack of features on physical discs, which there wouldn't be, if you... yadda yadda yadda. You get it.


The obvious question: Why can I not download the special features?


I am watching The Thing remake, which comes with a commentary, a making of and deleted scenes, for the price of €8-ish. For just the film on iTunes, I pay €12 (or €17 for the HD version!!!). Why would I do that now? Why aren't special features added in? Like the way you can get album artwork with a music download, you should be able to buy special edition digital downloads. Surely packaging up a film with a making of, deleted scenes, and including a second audio track for the commentary is not THAT difficult. As it stands, there is no benefit to a digital download except that it's digital, but that's like saying 'this car comes with wheels'. It really is standard now. And this is why piracy is still so rampant. DVDs DID curve piracy somewhat, because they offered something new or added, but a digital download is a step back.

Displayed here by the medium of

interpretive dance.

But add in some extras to that download, and I am sold. For the same price, I will move away from DVD and do my purchasing online. I am not the only one. There must be thousands of people who agree with this. And think of the added benefits. Films that are not available in special editions can have features added finally. It has already happened. Darron Aronofsky recorded an audio commentary for The Fountain and Tom Holland did one for Child's Play, and these were released online for free. As a region 2 customer, a lot of special editions in the US don't make it across the pond (say Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas). I own the film already, but I would spend 1 or 2 quid on a downloadable commentary to watch with it. The market is there, and it is all material that has either been created already, or just needs motivation and purpose to be created some more.


So, my proposal is simple. Release films online with special features and you will have more customers. And the interest in special features will be reignited so more will be made. And studios will get money, and we will get the in depth experience we had been spoiled with. 


Let's do this thing!

Defending Tom Six Part 2: The Human Centipede 2 and Beyond

Continuing on from yesterday, here is Part 2 of Defending Tom Six: The Human Centipede 2 and Beyond... Caution: Some images and descriptions may not be for the faint-hearted.

This black and white, dialogue-sparse film divided critics on release, with separate calls of it being violence for the sake of violence, or it being a torture porn film to the extreme. The fact of it is that the film is about a mentally challenged, odd looking man who is obsessed with his favourite film, The Human Centipede, and wants to remake it in real life, but with a dozen people. He doesn't speak, his actions are thinly justified, and the film not only doesn't shy away from the onscreen violence, but actually revels in it. So, can The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) really be defended? 

Just LOOK at him!

Of course it can! And here is why; Tom Six is not a fool. He might be opportunistic in that he knows what to exploit from his films to sell them, but behind all the buzz of the first Human Centipede is an actual decent film. Is HC2 over the top? Yes. Is it disgusting and repulsive? Yes. But the most important question, is it art? And the answer is a resounding yes.


I could spout the cliché of how art always challenges people, but beyond that, this is an extreme form art film. Look back at HC1 and the ridiculous buzz that grew around this godawful film that in the end, is actually rather tame by modern horror standards. The main thing to look at is just how encompassing the reaction was, and just how many times people called Tom Six depraved and demented, even though it was unjustified and undoubtably at least part of the time by people who only had heard about the film's plot. 

Cut to HC2, which is undoubtedly as graphic and twisted as they say it is (with some people saying it is actually boring because of just how nonstop it is with its violence. More on that in a bit). So, Tom Six finally lives up to his well deserved reputation as filth! Huzzah! Actually, not so fast. HC2 is a DIRECT and unmistakable response to the hype and hysteria of HC1. Think about it; this film IS wall to wall grotesque, and it is a world filled with unsavory characters, pretty much none of them worth our sympathy. If Six was going to get lambasted for being a sicko, then fuck it, he will be a sicko. Hell, he acknowledges that the first film WAS just a film, essentially settling this film up as a 'hey, look, we know what you think of the first film, let's talk about that'.

The first film left everything up to the imagination and people still found so much to cause controversy over, so this film offers people exactly what they think they despise but secretly really want (because we all love a bit of sadism, and honestly, having sadism to complain about). The violence is realistic and sickening, make no mistake (though I will admit to seeing a very slightly censored version), but the general reaction, especially after all the hubbub of the BBFC nearly banning the film, has almost been of disinterest, or more importantly, feigning disinterest. Six delivered a film to get up in arms about, and everyone collectively decided to pay it minimal attention. From a business standpoint, that must be frustrating, but from an artistic one, Six actually proved something to every one of his detractors; that they weren't paying attention the first time.


HC2 was too obvious in its disgust. People had no interest with something that was blatantly out to shock them. By contrasting the two films, the reaction to the first film was beyond the reaction to the second film (once it eventually came out), regardless of how disgusting the second one is.

And make no mistake, it IS disgusting.

So the intentions of the film are very clear and have major artistic merit. But what about the story? As I mentioned, a lot of reviews say the film was boring and repetitive due to the constant barrage of violence. The argument being that since there was no let up, it was becoming tired with its recurrence (this in itself is a brilliant reaction to evoke, echoing the fable of the man finding one dead body and crying, two bodies and weeping, just passing three bodies, and gradually not caring as the bodies grew more and more), so you could be excused for guessing that the characters are simply killer fodder, but this is not the case. I won't lie, the characters aren't exactly well drawn, but we have all walks of every day life covered, including some that appear to be there just for our guilty mauling, most notably the egocentric actress hoping to impress Quentin Tarantino. You don't really care what happens to these people, because they are caricatures of every day life and the torture of them is akin to making fun of the Kardashians (though in a more extreme manner). 

Damn Kardashians couldn't actually make it to the film...

Our lead character is a particularly horrible number; simple-minded, overweight, silent, conniving. We experience the film almost exclusively through his eyes, and never doubt for one second that he is troubled and up to no good. But then, we get more familiarised with his mother and his sexually perverted doctor. Suddenly, we feel a twinge of guilt for completely hating this lowely character without giving him any due. We should feel awful for assuming that just because he has mental problems that he would be a monster for no other reason. The plot itself is quite thinly drawn, but the exchange of these characters profiles (the beautiful American is deplorable, the fat killer is pitiable), is given plenty of breathing room. 

Speaking of something given plenty of breathing room, the violence (again!) must be mentioned. It is wall to wall, but if it isn't, the point is actually lost. I do question censorship in general, but for this film in particular, it needs to be uncut in many respects. I won't spoil it, but as the violence escalates and we are privey to plenty of bloodshed, there is one violent action that could almost come right out of a Troma film, and that is the point. It clearly says to the viewer 'hey, you know how intense everything has been? Well, it's a film!'. This moment, which I believe may be trimmed in the UK cut, is so vital in the films interpretation. 


So, there you go. The Human Centipede 2 was actually one of the most artistically important films of last year. Plenty of people have compared Six and HC to Jorg Buttgereit and his Nekromantik films, and I am siding that it is an controversial artistic endeavor, but an artistic endeavor nonetheless. The film won't be for everyone, but if you view it as the social commentary it is, you will receive so much more out of your viewing of it.

Honestly...

And the future for The Human Centipede? The third film is in the works and was initially set to have the fictional doctor from the first film with the killer of the second. I'd love to see this play out, but there appear to have been complications with the doctor from HC1. Six is promising a horrendous flick to make HC2 seem tame. This actually worries me slightly because as intense as HC2 is, it is kind of an ending point for the torture porn genre. Just like all alien films hide in the shadows since Alien, nothing should be able to surpass HC2 in terms of violence. I know Six is a savvy business man and knows what to take advantage of, so hopefully he is just being the ringmaster I imagine him to be, but there is a real worry that maybe he has believed the hype about him being a sick monster.


Six, for your own sake, make YOUR film, not the one you think you should make.


Ladies and gentlemen, you can now enjoy The Human Centipede films with a clean conscience!


The Human Centipede 2 is available UNCUT for legal download at a very reasonable price right here. The download includes some great additional features.

The final push for the Sodium Party

We are very close to the end of our Sodium Party campaign over at www.indiegogo.com/sodiumparty, and I would first off like to thank everyone who has been so helpful and generous so far. For everyone else, please check out the link above and consider contributing to our film. We are close to our new goal, and appreciate the help!


Living Dead Girl has just done a great write-up of the film over at her page here. Give it a read if you can, it is a great post!


I would like to answer a few small questions about the campaign to clear things up for people, so you know we are not being foolish about things!


Q. Why have you lowered your goal from $9,500 to $2,500?
A. Initially, we were given quotes for services that amount to about $9,500, but throughout the campaign, things have changed. First off, a very talented individual has donated their time to doing the visual effects of the film. Next, people see the dedication we have to this project and are being very helpful. We are cutting deals to get it all finished at an affordable price (and you can imagine we would give these folks repeat business from now on!). We have decided to leave the digital print for the moment, as this is a high cost when a colour grade is the main goal here and we can put the film out to Digibeta tape quite conveniently. We'd prefer a digital print eventually, but festivals and distributors accept Digibeta quite readily!


Q. But your set goal is $9,500. With these campaigns, don't you have to raise everything or get nothing?
A. That is true with a lot of group funding sites, but not Indiegogo. Everything you contribute will come to us (minus Indiegogo's fees). This is why we can rebudget what we see coming in and reset our goal!


Q. I thought this film was Irish, why is the campaign in dollars and not euro?
A. Because Indiegogo is an American site. We have taken in to account conversions and fees for it, and it should not affect you, the contributor, too much, though some people may be charged a small conversion fee (typically one euro or less).


Q. Why should I contribute to Sodium Party?
A. Because we are a unique Irish feature film. This is a truly independent film, made outside the Film Board and studio control, and we can promise you it is a one of a kind experience! By the time the end credits roll, you will be captivated!


I hope that clears up some questions! Now, please, head over to www.indiegogo.com/sodiumparty right away and help us hit our goal! 


Join the party!

Defending Tom Six: The Human Centipede

Warning: Though relatively spoiler free, this article contains some graphic descriptions and images from The Human Centipede. You have been warned.

So, people were kind of disgusted and freaked out by The Human Centipede. Let's not lie. If South Park lampoons it without outright calling it stupid, you know there is some deeper respect there. But for all this controversy, there is an awful lot of people who haven't seen the film, or indeed, its sequel. So, are they right to apply such a social taboo on it? And is Tom Six as disgusting a culprit as imagined? Well, it is a mixed bag of an answer.

2010's Human Centipede (First Sequence) is in fact quite a good straight horror film. But why such a kerfuffle around it? Well, in a throwback to the glorious 1950s B-movie, it was just selling itself on shock value. Yes it does contain a 'human centipede' made of people sewn ass-to-mouth (you never go ass to mouth!), and there is blood and surgery and hints of mad-scientist-Nazi doctor and the likes, and when you say it out loud, it is impossible not to say 'Wow! What a messed up film! I have to see that!', but in reality, it is actually a very tasteful affair, as people who have seen it can attest to.

This may in fact be more disturbing 

than 90% of the actual film.

Marketed in such an extreme way, The Human Centipede seemed to promised the most sickening cinematic experience you'd ever wish to behold, and this, coupled with the truth of it being disgusting subject matter, was enough to spark the imagination of the population, regardless of what was actually shown onscreen. What is most interesting is the notoriety it has garnered from people who haven't even seen it. Heck, I am currently one step away from getting Living Dead Girl to check it out, but for years she has used it as a short hand for disgusting. This is the sign of a very powerful film, because though it seems the same stock as Video Nasties, it is actually relatively tame. In fact, if compared with a film like Hostel, one of these films contains excessive amounts of gore and brutality and over the top nastiness. The other is a German horror film. 

If you watch the film itself, you will find it is almost J-horror-like in its style, and with a bit of detective movie thrown in. Director Tom Six's film is slow paced, methodical, and uses suspense as its main operation of horror. The entire film is about will these people escape the mad doctor before it's too late, then it is about can they escape with their lives, and will the police realise their culprit is the man they are speaking to. That's not to say there aren't any grizzly moments to be found, but it is all part of a larger, more arthouse, horror film.

The ingenious part on the producers behalf (Tom Six included) was allowing and perpetrating the illusion that this 'scientifically accurate' film was such an all out gross-fest that you might never be the same after it. It is undoubtedly a solid narrative and well executed, but it also has such a shock factor that it can be sold simply on word of mouth alone. In a time of dozens of zombie films a year, this is the people swallowing poop film. In more ways than one, it is similar to the freak-shows of yore; there are many promises made involving hideous beasts, but once you get inside the tent, it is more medical curiosity than monster. 

You cannot fault the producers for selling the film this way. It's better if all the talk is bad than if there is no talk at all, after all. Six delivered a solid film that is bound to disappoint the grotesque fair in many people's heads, and should be applauded for making a relatively small film a part of pop culture.

But what about its sequel; The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)? Considered by many as depraved trash, and almost banned in the UK, did Tom Six go too far? Well, this one is a bit harder to excuse, but excused it can be, very rationally.

Which I will go in to in detail in tomorrow's post; Defending Tom Six: The Human Centipede 2 and Beyond...

Horror hidden in the dark of Ireland

I think by this point it is very evident that I am a massive horror fan, and it is no secret I am also a filmmaker (the main reason I have restrained from reviews, as I harp on again and again in my infrequent posts), and maybe it is time to let you know that these two loves are not separate. I have been trying to hold my tongue until I was in a more solid place, not liking people who get ahead of themselves and put the cart before the horse, but now, I can officially declare that I have written the horror film I want to make as my first feature as director.

While doing a photo shoot in a forest for a college project, Kate and Brendan uncover a passageway in an abandoned and derelict. It leads to darkness and seems to go on in to infinity. Though Kate is cautious, Brendan decides to explore the passage, but ends up disappearing. When he returns, he feels amazing, and his entire demeaner is changed. While trying to figure out what it is, they introduce more friends to the passageway, with everyone feeling amazing after using. But, then, things start to turn when people are unable to control themselves and something inside them starts to take over…

Just some of the many inspirations.

For a country so rich in folklore, it is astounding how minimal the horror output is from Ireland, and what there is tends to err on the side of typical. Now is the time for this film to be made. Bubbling under the surface is a revolution of independent Irish cinema, and we filmmakers are getting louder and louder with our ‘no compromise for money’ ethos. I served as one of the producers on the independent mystery thriller, Sodium Party, and I know that when the right group of people who want to make a good film get together, nothing can stop them. Sure there is a place for trailers and personal assistants, but there are those of us who know that the innovative can make a €10,000 film look like a €500,000 film.

This is what I want to do. I want to make the kind of horror film I would love to see, and this is a film that has been touched on by other filmmakers, but never from the perspective I have wanted to see. Equal parts bed-wetting terror and hair-pulling tension, I am going to make a horror film with an intensely psychological value, much in the vein of masters like David Cronenberg or John Carpenter. I am not saying I am in their league, but Irelandneeds someone to try something intelligent and different!  This film will be Hellraiser by way of The Shining, with its toes in Martha Marcy May Marlene, and (as I noticed as I finished writing) a heck of a nod to classic Italian horror of the 70s.

So why this film? Why a passageway into who-knows-what? Well, I have grown up in a time watching people lose sight of what is important in life, including myself, and I have recently lost someone very important to me, which has made me acutely aware that sometimes you have to step back and realise just what it is you are doing. I don’t want to preach, I don’t want to judge, but I do want people to question. Whether that is a cultural or a personal experience will be an individual's own experience.

I hope to procure a relatively workable budget (compared to Sodium Party, anyway!) and know that this film will be made by a talented cast and crew, not by a big budget. A good film involves dozens of people, and there are more than enough talented folk just waiting in the wings! Whether I can find investors, or raise the money with like-minded people, or scrimp and save and shoot it on weekends for a few years, I will make the horror film I want to see, and want the world to see that Irish cinema is able to be exciting and risk-taking. Best of all, I genuinely love making horror films and think this would be a great way to kick it all off to what could be a long road of scares!

If you are interested, please drop me an e-mail at richmwaters@gmail.com. Even if it is just to be kept informed, you are very welcome. The more people who want in, the better! You know I am a horror lover, and I am making this film as a horror lover.

Let’s scare the shit out of em!